The Salmon Saga: From A to Å

The first personal story about family, how I grew up and why patience became so important. Touching the surface of my life.

My sister and I doing our best effort in front of the camera somewhere in South-France. D-vitamin from sunlight is not usual up north and so it gave us these grim expressions. Too much time above the surface makes a salmon suffocate.

Time to Read: 8 minutes

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Hey, friend!

I hope you are doing well. During these times of isolation, think it’s important to stay connected with the people we care about, to support each other through a period that many find hard to deal with.

That’s why I would like to start this letter with an encouragement: after reading, spend two minutes sending a message to someone you haven’t been in contact with for some time. Ask them how they are doing and make sure to send them your true attention.

In the meantime, let me give you my first personal story.

Starting a newsletter is like starting a conversation: you present yourself first with the aim to make the other person understand where you come from, what sort of perspectives you might have and where you can find common ground. This is what I aim to do with this specific letter. To make you understand better.

So, let’s rewind to the beginning.

I was born on the 25th of April 1995. My birth took 24 hours, which is partly why I carry such a great deal of respect for my mother. It must have required an incredible amount of patience, which is hard for someone with an Italian heritage. Thank you, mum, for never giving up on me; neither at birth nor in life.

Childhood-pictures will show you how fat I was as a baby and my dad also told me later that I looked like an alien because the doctor apparently pulled me out with a suction cup when my mother was tired of pushing in the 23rd hour. All I can say is that it takes a lot of pressure to create diamonds.

As a baby I ate well, rarely cried, played well with other babies and learned to walk and speak at normal rate. I was a curious kiddo though, which caused me to break a lot of stuff. I even fell down the stairs a couple of times, which in the end sent me to the hospital.

I also grew up with a dog; his name was Dino. He was already five years old when I was born. My parents later told me stories of how Dino would selflessly spend his days guarding his brother, not letting anybody close to me. In the meantime, I found comfort sleeping next to him in his dog-basket. It all gave me a relaxed relationship with animals from a young age.

Three years after me, I received a sister. We got along until I was nine and she was six, then hell broke loose and we really didn’t seem to get along anymore. However, when we were both teenagers, we raised our white flags and decided to live in peace. We are very different as people, but since then our relationship has grown into a strong bond based on mutual trust and respect for each other’s lifestyle and personality. I am forever grateful for the things she taught me, and I know she will keep making great things happen in the future.

In the end my parents spent a lot of time and effort trying to build a family that we could all be proud of. A home where friends belonged, where laughter never ended, where memories where created and where support never ceased to exist. A safe space that was sometimes loud and crazy, but always filled with love. I believe until this day that my parents understood that the greatest legacy that they could leave their children with, was happy memories.

I was a lucky kid because I had parents that understood patience.

They knew that all good things take time. It requires patience to build a family, to improve a relationship, to build a business and to get in shape. It requires patience to become who you aspire to be. It requires patience to give birth, to become good at sports, to deal with difficulties in life and to finally grow up, just too realise how important patience is.

I believe patience is a virtue that is rare and misunderstood. I have myself been a victim of this until I came to understand the importance of changing. I realised how critical patience was to my own development and I found a more sustainable way to deal with it.

First of all, patience is not about how long I can wait. It’s about how well I behave while waiting. It’s about what sort of attitude I practice while being exposed to periods where I have to work for the things I desire. Patience defines my state of mind in the process. Waiting signifies passiveness; patience represents a conscious effort to trust the process.

I have gone through many processes in my life, similar to what you have. I am in a process right now, to find out what a good life looks like to me. I am discovering what it takes to become a better self and in order to improve I have to be patient because I know that I still have many things to learn.

Indeed, I am afraid to be wrong; I hate to lose; I get frustrated and heavily annoyed when I don’t understand something, and I can be stubborn. I am jealous, I have lied, and I will probably lie in the future, I have manipulated others to get what I want, I avoid people I don’t like, and I don’t keep all my promises. I failed at great passions of mine; I disappointed friends and I still have a hard time trusting people.

But I am not telling myself to wait. I am telling myself to show up every day with an attitude that can take me one step forward. Reminding myself to be patient.

But how?

Try to imagine life as a cyclical process, consisting of two periods:

1. Times when you have to plant seeds.
2. Times when you have to harvest the fruits.

A period that require planting seeds is entered when I am exposed to negative feedback, social isolation, someone close passing away, not finding an internship/job, financial struggle or others. It is recognisable because of its heavy duty on my mental state and they turn out to be quite labor-intensive, both physically and mentally. I enter these periods all the time, many times without even realising and distinguishing them.

These periods require re-adjustment, decision-making, investments and patience in order to pass and turn into a harvesting-period.

Planting the seed is usually not the difficult part though. Keeping it alive and making it grow is what requires tenacious focus and conscious effort, showing up every day with a willingness to invest in myself and the process.

However, I know deep inside that I can only harvest later if I make an investment in planting the seeds now, and I need to invest in myself until the period is done.

Also, purpose can be difficult to find while we go through rough periods, but without patience we are creating a vicious circle. By patiently investing in myself I automatically increase the odds of entering a harvesting-period. I am causing an effect to happen. I am putting myself in a better situation.

Planting seeds and harvesting fruits are not end-stations though. They are the processes between the different stages in my life. My life has multiple nuances and I find myself in multiple processes at the same time and distinguishing between them is important e.g. you might be planting seeds at university but harvesting fruits in your relationships.

Ask yourself now: what parts of my life are in what stage? This should help you understand where to prioritise and invest.

If you find yourself in need of planting seeds, then I want to inspire you to spend time investing in yourself and your skills. Start planting seeds and be patient. Harvest later. Remember, good things take time.

Now, I would like to leave you with how I started:

Take two minutes and reach out to that person that I spoke about. Take good care of each other and be patient with your relationships. Sometimes they need time to grow roots and to heal from bad weather. Only with time can things become better.

Thank you for still sticking around, and I am looking forward to telling you my next personal story on Sunday 7th of June.

At last, my first Vikings Hacks will be coming out tomorrow, Monday 11th of May, so have a look in your inbox if you are interested in having a more productive week by making use of some small, recommended tricks.


No pressure, no salmon.


Yours,

Marco h.